Choke a vampire

I had, quite possibly, the worst pizza I have ever had in my life today.  There was so much garlic on it I have a headache.  And I didn’t even know garlic could give you a headache.

 I do know that garlic, according to a recently viewed website: 

garlic Lowers cholesterol Controls blood pressure Combats cancer kills bacteria Fights fungus

I think I should be set in the cholesterol, blood pressure, cancer, bacteria, fungus dept for a long while.  Fungus ain’t comin anywhere near me for at least 6 months!  Neither is my wife, for that matter; or anyone else I know. 

 Good lord, I just want to send this place a garlic mincer.  MINCE people.  Not raw garlic cloves cut in half.  That is not minced.

My dog is very interested in my breath, but she likes to sniff crotch, so what does that tell me?

 I think they were pissed because our pizza came with chicken, although we did not order chicken on the pizza and no not eat chicken (we’re vegetarian) and we refused it.  So they thought they’d get us back!

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