In Memoriam

Going tonight to celebrate a life well lived.  At least, that’s what it’s called:  a celebration.  John is no longer with us–gone too soon.  We had all just recently seen him.  Something in me that does not feel the joy in all this- this sudden absence.   Perhaps he’s having a belly laugh on all of us: “so THIS is what happens next”?  I can see it now.

 Could it be that I stopped believing in heaven when I was 13?  Is that why this finality is not so wonderful.  Please don’t send me comments to save my everlasting soul.  I am spiritual.  I believe in something it just may not be the same as you.

Perhaps it’s the awkwardness of not knowing what to say, or worse being certain of what to say but sounding like a complete idiot to his wife and family. 

 This sucks.  That’s what should be said, but it never is.  This fucking sucks.

John was someone full of life.  A force.  He kept you guessing.  Laughing.  And I danced a wonderful drunken Friday night away with him, my wife, friends–a posse, in his living room.  And as anyone who knows me knows, getting me to dance is quite a feat.  Or feet?  Well if you’d seen it you would draw your own conclusions.

 So thanks, John, for getting me dancing.  For showing us the absurdity, silliness and curious.  You are missed, my friend.  I only wish I had known you better.



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